


It's Been Three Days

by twin192



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, F/F, Mentioned Mon-El, One Shot, Post Season 2 Finale, Sad, future Supercorp if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 03:02:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13045128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twin192/pseuds/twin192
Summary: She remembered the day she had decided to be normal. To not be the strange little sister of Alex Danvers who was awed by the sight of a flock of birds flying overhead and who spent hours looking at the waves, analyzing every movement they made. Being intrigued by the way the creatures living under the surface let themselves be carried by the strong force of the ocean instead of fighting against it. It seemed easier for them to let themselves be carried instead of going against the current. She had wondered if it would be easier for her as well. If it would be easier for everyone if she just did what every being on this planet expected from her.~~~Post Season 2 Finale. Kara's emotions are overwhelming her and she doesn't know what to do, so she tries to listen to one of the only heartbeats in the world that can calm her down. That heartbeat belongs to Lena Luthor.





	It's Been Three Days

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
> this is my first time writing for Supergirl. I fell in love with Kara's and Lena's dynamic and I'm hoping this One Shot will help me get out of the writer's block I've been having for most of this year.  
> This story is just something I thought about when I thought about Kara's character and everything she's been through in her life. I hope you like it :)  
> Oh and I really don't like Mon-El but he needed to be at least mentioned in the story for it to work the way I imagined it.

It's been three days.  
  
Three days since she defeated Queen Rhea and pressed the button that made it unable for her boyfriend to stay on earth. She missed him. His special kind of humor, his bright - and sometimes naive - outlook on life and the way that he was a person she could be herself with. She didn't need to hide her powers, she didn't need to control her strength when she gave him a hug, she could talk to him in a language she hadn't spoken in for years. He didn't see her as Kara Danvers and he didn't see her as Supergirl. She could be herself around him and he didn't comment on the way she was different when it was just them. He didn't know Kara Danvers and he thought Supergirl was a public persona. Which it was. Nobody really knew her real self, not even Alex.  
  
She remembered the time shortly after she came to earth and everything was strange, new, sometimes scary and just alien to the girl who had come from the stars and knew of worlds far more advanced and far more primitive than this one. She knew of different races, different cultures, different lifestyles, different ways whole worlds operated. But she had always been a visitor on those planets, she had never needed to assimilate completely to a whole new world. She had always been Kara Zor-El, daughter of Zor-El, accompanying him on business trips to learn about the galaxy and the science he worked on. She had to adhere to the different rules on all those planets and had adjusted her behavior slightly in order to not offend anyone but she had never needed to give herself up completely to fit in somewhere.  
  
She remembered the day she had decided to be normal. To not be the strange little sister of Alex Danvers who was awed by the sight of a flock of birds flying overhead and who spent hours looking at the waves, analyzing every movement they made. Being intrigued by the way the creatures living under the surface let themselves be carried by the strong force of the ocean instead of fighting against it. It seemed easier for them to let themselves be carried instead of going against the current. She had wondered if it would be easier for her as well. If it would be easier for everyone if she just did what every being on this planet expected from her.  
  
Alex had taken her to the beach with a group of her friends. They were having fun playing a game Kara didn't recognize further up on the beach, laughing, joking and enjoying the beautiful day. She zeroed in on Alex and couldn't help but analyze the way she seemed to fidget and smile brightly at the boy standing next to her. They seemed to be having a conversation and Kara was curious what sort of conversation could make Alex behave in such an unusual way. She had studied Alex Danvers since she had landed on this planet and this behavior was definitely unusual. Without consciously turning on her new powers, she could suddenly hear the conversation Alex was having with the boy a hundred meters away. She tried to turn it off, Alex, Eliza and Jeremiah had all told her that eavesdropping on a conversation without permission was frowned upon, but she couldn't control her powers all that well yet and her interest was peaked when she heard her name being uttered by the boy standing next to Alex.  
  
"What's your sister's name again? Kara?"  
  
Alex' body language changed immediately, she tensed up, the smile playing on her face disappeared and a frown took it's place. Her eyes were guarded when she looked at the boy.  
  
"Yes. Why?"  
  
"I was just wondering where she suddenly came from. You've never talked about a sister and she's acting really strange. I think she's been sitting over there looking at the waves for a solid hour now. And she nearly screamed when she saw a bird at school yesterday."  
  
Alex rolled her eyes. "She's been adopted. So of course I wouldn't have talked about her before since I only got to know her a little while ago. Don't mind her."  
  
"But why is she acting so weird? It seems like she's been living inside her whole life and sees the world for the first time now."  
  
"Can we not talk about my sister and her strange behavior please? It's annoying enough that mom makes me take her everywhere with me."  
  
Kara could see the boy shrugging and the two carried on their conversation without her listening in any further.  
  
Strange. Weird. She had learned what those words meant. Unusual, extraordinary, curious, odd, alien. Unearthly, uncanny, bizarre.  
  
She didn't want to be strange or weird. Kal had told her she needed to fit in. To hide her powers and behave normally. She was obviously doing a bad job if everyone around her used those words to describe her.  
  
It was then that she decided to make this work. To do what Kal had told her to do. What Alex clearly wanted from her. What Eliza and Jeremiah were trying to teach her. It was then that she decided to become Kara Danvers, citizen of earth and normal. It was then that Kara Zor-El, the curious thirteen year old from another planet with knowledge no earthling could ever hope to acquire and the weight of an entire race and planet on her shoulders disappeared into the deepest darkest recess of her mind. It was then that the nightmares she'd been having turned from occasional visitors to daily reminders of everything she had lost, everything she had experienced and everything she would never have again.  
  
It's been three days since she had lost one of the two people Kara could be less guarded around, one of the people she could let see a glimpse of her real self shining through the cracks in her armor.  
  
It's been three days since she slept. It's been three days of constant fears creeping up her spine as soon as she closed her eyes. It's been three days since Kara needed her sister's strong arms around her. It's been three days since she turned around from Alex's apartment as soon as she landed because Alex had not been alone. Maggie was with her and Kara didn't want to interrupt. Didn't want her dark thoughts and mood to take any of Alex' happiness away.  
  
It's been three days since she turned to the only other heartbeat in the world that could calm her down. It's been three days of sitting on different rooftops throughout National City, listening to the heartbeat of Lena Luthor.  
  
Kara hadn't gone and seen her. She hadn't been to work at CatCo or the DEO either. She had told J'onn she needed a break and had not really talked to anyone since. Alex had called her numerous times, had used her com to talk to her, but Kara needed some time alone and had deactivated the com after telling Alex she was fine but needed some time to sort things through. Her friends had tried to call her but she let every call go to voice mail. There had even been a call from Lena. Kara had been conflicted, wanting to talk to her after all that had happened but not being sure she could hold her composure or act like Kara Danvers right now. So she had ignored her call as well.  
  
She had wanted to tell Lena her secret for months. She had wanted to be able to show her real self to her. Anybody. But especially her. But Alex had said no. Alex had made her promise not to tell her. Because Lena was a Luthor. Because too many people already knew her secret. Because Alex didn't know and therefore didn't trust Lena. Because she wanted to protect Kara.  
  
So Kara had promised and suffered in silence. She'd been suffering for years but it hurt a hundred times worse now. Because she had known what it was like to be able to be herself. Even for just a moment. Even just a little bit. She hadn't known how relaxing being herself was. She hadn't even known who she was without Kara Danvers or Supergirl. She had forgotten who Kara Zor-El was. But she had managed to get a glimpse of herself when she had been with Mon-El. And now he was gone. And she couldn't talk to Lena because she had promised Alex she wouldn't tell her her secret. And she couldn't talk to Lena as Supergirl or Kara Danvers right now. She didn't have the strength to pretend right now. So she spent the last three days sitting on rooftops, listening to Lena's heartbeat, hoping it would relax her and quiet her raging mind. And it had worked. Even if it was just a few minutes here and there. Even if she still spent the majority of her time thinking about her past and her present. Krypton. Her parents. The long years in the phantom zone. Alex. Her friends. Supergirl. And if this was really the life she wanted.  
  
Her father had raised her to be his successor. To be a valued part of the science guild. To help her planet and the galaxy improve. But she had hidden herself and her dreams away. Became a reporter instead. Because Kal was a reporter. And she wanted to be closer to him. And because Cat had told her it was the next step in her life. Because Cat Grant had left her alone so she couldn't be her assistant anymore. Because it was the logical way to continue her life. And everybody had been happy for her. Had thought it was her dream. Had thought she would be happy. She wasn't. But how could she tell anyone? How could she let down their expectations?  
  
She had vowed to act like a human and follow the expectations of those around her. And she had done so with a smile on her face. Her real thoughts so deeply hidden, that even herself sometimes didn't know that Kara Danvers wasn't her real self. Not completely. Kara Danvers was a mask, just like Supergirl.  
  
It was around 11pm and she was sitting on the roof of the building Lena's penthouse was situated in and listened to her reading a book. She knew that she was kinda stalking her friend and that her behavior would be considered creepy by a lot of people but she couldn't help herself. She needed to be near Lena's heartbeat or her thoughts would run away with her and she didn't think she could deal with a full onslaught of them.  
  
She had been wearing her Supergirl outfit for three days straight but she couldn't bring herself to care. Her cape was fluttering behind her as she sat on the edge of the building, just a few meters away from Lena's position on her couch. Kara breathed in deeply and tried to let everything fade away, trying to concentrate on the steady heartbeat a few meters away. She managed a few minutes of blissful silence until the ringing of her phone in her boot broke her out of her relaxed state. She sighed deeply but fished her phone from her boot and looked at the screen to see who was calling her.  
  
Lena.  
  
Lena was calling her.  
  
A complicated mix of expressions fluttered across Kara's face as she contemplated what to do.  
  
She wanted to talk to her. To hear her soft voice. To talk to her. To maybe get her help in getting herself out of this state she felt herself caught in. But she had promised. Had promised not to tell. And she wasn't strong enough to hide anything right now. The ringing of her phone stopped while she was still deep in thought.  
  
She sighed deeply as she stared at the dark screen of her phone. Alex expected her to keep her promise.  
  
Closing her eyes, she tried to ignore the pain in her heart and tried to get back into the relaxed state she had been in only moments before when a labored breath caught her attention. She opened her eyes and focused her hearing around her. Another labored breath. Concentrating on the sound, she noticed that it could only be Lena. Frowning slightly she noticed that Lena's heartbeat wasn't as steady and calm as it had been a few minutes ago. It was beating faster now, pounding loudly in Lena's chest, silent for everyone but her.  
  
Worry encased Kara's heart, making her doubt her decision to stay away from her friend. She didn't want her to suffer alone, to cry alone, thinking nobody could hear her. When a slightly louder sob fought it's way through Lena's lips, Kara made up her mind, floated a few meters down until she stood on Lena's balcony. She could see the brunette sitting on her couch, an over sized sweater swallowing her frame, knees pressed against her chest and arms folded over them as she cried into the fabric of her sweatpants.  
  
After swallowing her nerves and trying to strengthen her mind, Kara knocked slightly on the glass.  
  
She could see Lena's body stiffen as the brunette lifted her head to look straight at Kara. Lena wiped away her tears and stood up, walking over to the balcony to open the door.  
  
"Supergirl. What are you doing here?"  
  
Kara shrugged. "I heard you. Are you okay?"  
  
Lena closed her eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath, trying to calm down her body. "I'm fine. If there's nothing I can help you with, it's getting late."  
  
Kara stiffened and fidgeted with her fingers. She didn't exactly know what she was doing, how she could comfort Lena while wearing her suit. She must have stood there too long, lost in her swirling thoughts, long enough for Lena to notice the unusual behavior from National City's own superhero.  
  
"Are _you_ okay? You don't look too good yourself. And if I read the articles from this morning correctly, nobody has seen you since the fight against the Daxamites. And yet here you are, standing on my balcony because you heard me cry. Why?"  
  
"Common courtesy?"  
  
Lena raised an eyebrow. "Such a thing does not exist for a Luthor. Why are you really here?"  
  
The cracks in Kara's armor were getting bigger, big enough for the whirlwind of emotions battling inside her mind to be clearly visible on her face.  
  
Lena had never seen such a complicated array of expressions on anyone's face before. And Supergirl's _eyes._ She had never seen so much pain, so much confusion, so much insecurity plainly reflected in deep blue eyes before. Not even in her mirror during the worst time of her life. Supergirl looked as if she could shatter apart at any moment, she looked as if one wrong move could destroy her completely.  
  
The young CEO just stood there, taking in the form of the struggling superhero and didn't know what to do. Didn't know why Supergirl sought _her_ out, of all people. She just knew that she needed to help her, any way she possibly could. Because Supergirl was here now, clearly wanting help, even though it didn't seem like she could ask for it.  
  
Taking in a deep breath, Lena stepped to the side, wordlessly inviting Kara into her home.  
  
The blonde superhero didn't seem to notice Lena's movement, still lost in her thoughts. But she visibly flinched when Lena cleared her throat, coming back to reality, berating herself for getting lost in her thoughts again. She stepped into Lena's penthouse and watched as the brunette closed the door.  
  
"Do you want a drink?" Lena inquired as she walked over to the kitchen area.  
  
"I can't get drunk." Kara muttered, as she stood at the place Lena left her, wringing her hands anxiously.  
  
Lena raised an eyebrow. "Is that so. Well, how about a hot chocolate then? You seem like you could use something to warm you up."  
  
Kara shrugged. "I don't want to trouble you."  
  
"Nonsense. It will only take a moment. Why don't you sit down on the couch and make yourself comfortable? You look tense."  
  
Kara looked at the couch she had seen Lena cry on just minutes earlier and remained standing where she was. "Why were you crying?"  
  
Lena stopped getting the mugs out of the cupboard and turned around to look at the superhero. "It was nothing. I was just a little overwhelmed with everything that has been going on lately, I'm sure you understand."  
  
Kara nodded. "I do. But I don't imagine you to be a person who cries easily."  
  
The young CEO stiffened. "I am not. Can we please stop talking about this? It is embarrassing enough that you saw me in such a state."  
  
"There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Everybody needs to cry every once in a while."  
  
"Even you?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
Lena left it at that, not wanting to overstep any boundaries at the moment. Supergirl looked fragile and she had never seen the superhero not look strong, confident and ready for a fight. She finished her preparations and took two mugs full of steaming hot chocolate over to the couch. She put one of them down on the coffee table for Supergirl and sat back down in her spot, looking at her blonde guest expectantly.  
  
Kara hesitated for a moment but eventually sat down on the couch, cradling the hot mug in her hands.  
  
"Be careful, it's hot." Lena said as she saw the blonde bring the mug to her mouth. Kara looked at Lena with a small smile on her face. "I'm fireproof. This can't burn me."  
  
"Oh. Right." Lena muttered as a faint blush spreading across her face.  
  
Both of them just sat there in silence, sipping at their beverages, not knowing what to say to the other.  
  
Lena was wondering what Supergirl was doing in her home. Yes, they had a good working relationship and Lena was grateful for all the help Supergirl had been giving her in the past but she didn't think they had any kind of personal relationship that made the blonde turn to her when something was clearly troubling her. She had almost forgotten the reason for her own tears, being surprised by the spontaneous visit of the superhero, and being even more confused by the way the blonde was acting. She had never looked so troubled during all of the previous visits and Lena didn't know what to do. But she wanted to help.  
  
Kara was sitting on the couch contemplating what she was doing here. Asking herself what she wanted to accomplish by being here, sitting next to Lena and sipping a delicious hot chocolate. Debating with herself if she should finally tell Lena the truth about herself. Weighing the pros and cons about telling her _everything_. She relished being in the brunette's company, happy to let her steady heartbeat lull her into a relaxed state, despite the complicated thoughts running through her mind.  
  
"Look, as nice as your visits usually are, something is clearly troubling you. Should I call someone? Maybe Agent Danvers? You seemed to be close the few times I've seen you two together."  
  
Kara flinched violently at her sister's name. "No!"  
  
Taken aback by the strong reaction, Lena frowned as she looked at the blonde. "That wasn't the reaction I expected. Are you two fighting? Should I call anybody else?"  
  
Kara sighed. "No, please don't call anyone. And we're not exactly fighting. But I've been avoiding her and she's worried. I don't want to bother her."  
  
"I doubt that you would bother her if she's worried. Do you want to talk about why you are avoiding her?"  
  
"I don't know. I do want to talk, that's why I came here in the first place. And because I couldn't let you cry on your own."  
  
Lena was puzzled. Not only was Supergirl sitting on her couch, drinking hot chocolate but she specifically came here to talk to _her_. "Well, I'm happy to listen but can I ask why me? Don't you want to talk to your friends?"  
  
A loud sob worked it's way out of Kara as she thought about her friends and Alex and Lena. About why she couldn't talk to any of them. She tried to stop her emotions from overflowing, but a steady stream of tears made their way down her face and she buried her head in her hands, trying to hide herself from Lena, from the world.  
  
Lena was sitting next to her, eyes wide and mouth forming a small 'o'. That had apparently been the wrong thing to say. She just sat there for a few seconds, desperately trying to think about a way to comfort the blonde. Deciding on an awkward pat on the back, Lena was surprised to feel Supergirl lean into the touch. "It's going to be alright. Cry if you need to. I'll just stay here if you want me to."  
  
"Nothing is going to be alright!" Kara sobbed louder, not managing to get her tears under control.  
  
"I'm sorry. I should not have said that when I don't know what's going on." Lena apologized with a helpless expression on her face.  
  
"But that's just it! I want you to know what's going on! But I promised Alex I wouldn't tell you."  
  
Lena furrowed her brows and put her hand back into her lap. "Alex? Agent Danvers?"  
  
Kara nodded.  
  
"Why is she telling you what to do and what not to do?"  
  
"Because she is my sister."  
  
Lena's eyebrows rose in surprise and she stared at the blonde intently. "Your sister? What? But... Kara?" She asked in a whisper, not believing how she couldn't have seen this sooner. It was so obvious now that she thought about it. All those little strange comments and how Kara always just seemed to miss Supergirl when something was going on. And the glasses and ponytail weren't really a good disguise.  
  
"Kara?" She asked carefully, needing proof of her assumption.  
  
Kara nodded stiffly, not looking at the brunette. She didn't want to see the expression on Lena's face as she found out that she had been hiding this secret from her for so long, that she had been lying to her all this time. She didn't want to see the betrayal and anger.  
  
Lena's first emotion was shock. Then came the anger. She was about to demand why Kara had been keeping this secret from her. Didn't she consider them friends? Was it because she was a Luthor? Didn't she trust her? As she was about to open her mouth and ask all those questions, she looked at Kara. Saw the way her body language screamed fragile. Saw the way her shoulders shook. Saw her not being able to look at Lena at all.  
  
Any anger she had felt burst into nothingness as she looked at Kara. Her friend. Who was obviously suffering. A little bit of hurt remained lingering in Lena but she decided that helping Kara with whatever she was going through at the moment was more important than her hurt feelings.  
  
"Kara, look at me."  
  
Kara squeezed her eyes shut and refused to move.  
  
Lena sighed and moved a little closer on the couch until she was sitting right next to the blonde. She carefully cradled Kara's chin and moved the blonde's head until it was facing Lena. "Please open your eyes."  
  
Kara hesitated for a moment but eventually did as Lena asked. She opened her eyes slowly and looked into Lena's beautiful deep green eyes. She couldn't detect any hint of anger in those jade eyes which made her furrow her eyebrows. "You're not mad?" She whispered.  
  
Lena shook her head. "How could I be angry? It was your secret to tell and I'm glad you told me. Even though I wish it was under better circumstances. I have to admit that I'm a little hurt that you didn't tell me sooner but I'm sure you had your reasons. We can talk about that some other time if you want to. What I want to talk about now is what's going on with you. You don't seem like yourself. Is it because of Mon-El? I would understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore after what I did. Which is why I am so surprised to see you here."  
  
Kara furrowed her brows. "Why would I not want anything to do with you?"  
  
Lena gave her a pained smile. "Kara, I made the device work that made it unable for your boyfriend to live on this earth. I'm the reason he's gone."  
  
The blonde superhero took both of Lena's hands into her own, staring into her green eyes imploringly. "Lena, this was not your fault. I pressed that button. I made the decision. You helped developing a device that stopped an invasion. An invasion Lena! You saved this city, hell, this planet from being turned into New Daxam. You should be proud of yourself. I am."  
  
Tears had started gathering in Lena's eyes as she listened to Kara painting her involvement into a heroic act. She couldn't believe that the blonde didn't have any ill feelings towards her but the honest blue eyes convinced her that Kara meant what she had said. She couldn't help but make sure though.  
  
"Are you sure? Because I wouldn't blame you."  
  
Kara squeezed Lena's hands in a comforting manner. "I am sure. None of the past week's incidents were your fault."  
  
"How can you say that? I built the portal that allowed an entire army of spaceships to invade this city!" Lena protested.  
  
Kara shook her head and pulled Lena into a tight hug. "Rhea manipulated you. And as soon as you knew what she wanted, you tried to stop her. Lena she captured you and held you prisoner on that space ship. I still don't know what she wanted from you, but I'm so glad that you're back on earth. Safe. It wasn't your fault, don't beat yourself up over it. Please."  
  
Lena sighed deeply into Kara's shoulder. "She wanted me to be the mother of her grandchildren."  
  
Kara's eyes widened and she pulled back from Lena until she could look her in the eyes. "She wanted _what_?"  
  
"She said I had good genes and was a perfect specimen from earth. She wanted to create a strong future king."  
  
Kara went as wide as the wall behind her. "She wanted you to... with Mon-El..."  
  
Lena sighed. "No. That thankfully isn't the only way to create life on Daxam. She said she only needed our DNA to make a baby. We wouldn't have had anything to do with it."  
  
Kara was breathing heavily now, still stuck on the thought of Lena and Mon-El being forced to do _that_.  
  
"Kara?" Lena asked, slightly shaking Kara's shoulders to get her attention. "I wouldn't have let it come to that. You have to believe me. I know that you love him Kara. I wouldn't do that to you. Please don't think about things that could have been. You saved us before anything could happen."  
  
"Lena." Kara whispered, not looking at the brunette. "I wasn't worried about him. I know that he can take it, he grew up differently than people do on earth. I'm worried about you. I don't think I could have lived with myself if anything like that had happened to you."  
  
Lena cradled Kara's face in her hand and made her look up. "Kara, I'm fine. Nothing happened. Don't let your imagination make up things that could have been."  
  
Kara nodded, grasping at Lena's arms, needing the contact to ground herself. She didn't know how to deal with all these thoughts running through her head, she didn't know what to do to make her mind stop.  
  
Lena looked at the fragile, almost broken blonde before her and didn't know what to do. This was Kara, her friend. Supergirl. And she was struggling. With what, Lena didn't know. But it was serious. Kara needed help. And Lena hoped she could provide it.  
  
"Kara, please. What is going on with you? I want to help you but I don't know how. Are you sure you don't want me to get your sister?"  
  
Kara shook her head resolutely. "No, please don't. I have to talk to Alex soon, but please, not now. I need to talk to you. I need your help."  
  
"Anything Kara. Just tell me what it is, I will do anything."  
  
A new batch of tears were gathering in Kara's eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. "I don't know Lena. I just hope you'll find a solution, because I can't continue like this. I don't know what to do."  
  
Lena saw the desperation in Kara's eyes and sunk into the couch, pulling Kara with her, putting her arm around the sad blonde's shoulders. "Can you tell me what's going on?"  
  
Kara took in a deep breath. "I want to. I'll try to explain it as best as I can. But I don't know if you'll fully understand what's going on. Hell, I don't even know why this is suddenly bothering me so much."  
  
Lena squeezed Kara's shoulder in a comforting manner and waited for the blonde to start talking.  
  
"As you know, I was born on Krypton. My mom was working as a kind of judge, judging those who had committed a crime. If the crime was bad enough, the criminals were sent to Fort Rozz, an ancient military installation, acting as a prison. It was located in the phantom zone. Nobody had ever escaped the prison when my planet was still intact."  
  
"The phantom zone?"  
  
"Yes, it's an inter dimensional realm outside the normal time / space continuum."  
  
Lena looked at her wide eyed. "Have you been there?"  
  
Kara chocked out a broken laugh. "Have I been there? Lena, I've spent 24 years of my life there, frozen in space and time, not being able to do anything apart from dreaming about my planet exploding right before my eyes."  
  
The brunette looked at the superhero with a clear look of horror in her eyes. "You've spent 24 years trapped in that place? And you were awake?!"  
  
„I was. I think I must have spent some time dozing because I can’t remember all 24 years but I’ve been awake for most of it. And I could do nothing but look out at the darkness around me and hope that I would someday escape from this place.”  
  
“How did you not go crazy?” Lena whispered, still horrified by what she was hearing.  
  
“I don’t know. I think I fled into my mind, thinking about my life, my parents, my friends. My duty. I was sent to earth to protect my cousin Kal. I was trying to retain as much of my knowledge of Krypton as I could, so I would be able to tell Kal all about it when he was older. But things didn’t go the way I planned them to.”  
  
“Kal? Your cousin? You mean Superman?”  
  
Kara nodded.  
  
“But isn’t he older than you?”  
  
“He wasn’t stuck in the phantom zone. So technically I’m older but biologically, he’s older by now.”  
  
“Kara” Lena whispered, not knowing what to say to such a horrifying revelation.  
  
The blonde put on a smile and caught Lena’s hands in her own. “It wasn’t easy. But I made it here in one piece and it’s been a long time. I just needed to tell you this so you could understand the rest of my story.”  
  
Lena nodded, trying to smile at Kara reassuringly.  
  
“My father was a scientist. He was the person who created the Medusa virus.”  
  
The brunette’s eyes widened again, shocked by all this new information she was getting. “What?”  
  
Kara nodded grimly. “I looked up to him. He was such a kind, gentle, brilliant man. I wanted to grow up to be just like him. He took me to other planets, showed me the galaxy, taught me all about the different cultures, races and values. I looked up to him and then I had to find out that he is the reason every alien in National City nearly died. If you hadn’t made the virus inert before it was distributed, it would have destroyed me. Knowing that I was the reason so many people died.”  
  
“Kara, it wouldn’t have been your fault. You are not responsible for you family’s actions, isn’t that what you always tell me? Believe in your own words and believe in your own actions. I’m sure you would have found a way to save everyone even if I couldn’t alter the virus. I’m sure of it.”  
  
Kara let out a deep breath. “I want to believe you. I really do. But how can I when my mind is telling me something different? How can you trick your own mind into believing what you want it to?”  
  
Lena sighed. “It’s never worked for me. But hearing you tell me that I am good, that I matter, that I am nothing like my family, that I can make the world a better place, it helps. Constantly being reminded that there is a person believing in me made it easier. Made the weight on my shoulders a little more bearable. So I’ll tell you every day that you are not responsible for your parent’s actions, that you are a hero, a force for good. I’ll tell you every day until you believe me.”  
  
Kara closed her eyes and tried to relax into the brunette's embrace. "I want to believe you. I really do. But I don't know if I can."  
  
"Just try. We'll take baby steps. One day at a time."  
  
The blonde superhero sighed but eventually nodded. They stayed silent for a few moments, just enjoying the warmth each others presence offered.  
  
"Was this what has been bothering you? The actions of your father?"  
  
Kara shook her head. "Not really. I mean, of course, that's part of it. A big part. But it's not all."  
  
Lena decided to stay silent and let Kara work through whatever it was that was bothering her. Giving Kara time to come up with the right words seemed like the best way to help her friend.  
  
After a few minutes of silence the blonde started to talk. "My name is Kara Zor-El. I was raised to follow in my father's footsteps. I was supposed to grow up and join the science guild where I would have worked together with the most brilliant minds of our race to better our society, our planet and the galaxy in general. And I was good at it Lena. I was really good. I never got to find out what I could have become."  
  
Lena took one of Kara's hands and squeezed it tightly. "I'm sorry Kara."  
  
The blonde held Lena's hand tighter and gave her a small smile. "It's okay. If things didn't happen the way they did, I would have never met Alex. I would have never been adopted by Eliza and Jeremiah, I wouldn't have met my friends. I wouldn't have been able to get to know you. I love my life on earth. I love humans and the way they feel so strongly. About everything. It's beautiful to see the way love is shown on this planet."  
  
"I assume feelings were experienced differently on Krypton?"  
  
Kara nodded. "You could say that. It's hard to explain. Do you know the feeling when you are underwater at a pool and everything seems peaceful but can still kinda hear the other people around you? It's a little bit like that. Feelings were muted on Krypton. Of course we had them but we usually followed the direction our head was telling us was the best option, we didn't follow our hearts. We were a rational race, always weighing the pros and cons of a situation before we made a reasonable decision. Of course we loved each other and I never felt like I was missing out on something because I didn't know how different it could be. When I first landed on earth I was overwhelmed by how strongly humans feel. Positive or negative, human emotions are guided by your hearts. And I learned to love it, learned how beautiful that is. But when I first came to earth, I was lost."  
  
Kara took a deep breath, bringing her thoughts into order and sipping on her 'not so hot' chocolate.  
  
"Everything was new for me. I didn't know the rules, Alex hated me, I was suddenly developing these powers that I had no clue how to control. And the purpose I had been holding onto during all those lonely years in the phantom zone was gone too. Kal didn't need me anymore, I was stranded on this strange planet with nothing to do. It was terrifying. And then Kal abandoned me too. I love the Danvers but Kal was the only person I had some kind of connection to and he just left me with these people. I know that he was busy and taking care of a frightened 13 year old wasn't what he wanted but it felt like I had lost my last connection to my family, my planet. And I don't want to sound rude but the way some things work on this planet are so primitive. I was used to a much more developed planet, technologically and scientifically. I had all this knowledge from advanced society and planets and I wasn't allowed to use it. Eliza and Jeremiah told me to fit in, to adapt. Basically to dumb myself down so I wouldn't stand out so much. So that's what I did. I tried to forget who Kara Zor-El was and put everything into becoming Kara Danvers, a normal human being."  
  
Kara took another short break to finish her drink and put the cup on the table in front of the couch. She leaned back into Lena's warm embrace.  
  
"I love Kara Danvers. I love my earth family and all my friends. And I didn't even notice something was wrong until Mon-El landed on earth. I could be myself around him. My true self. Not Kara Danvers, not Supergirl. Just Kara Zor-El, the girl from Krypton. I didn't need to hold back anything from him. We talked about our planets, about other planets we've been to, sometimes we just talked about the flowers or architecture on Daxam and Krypton. Because he remembers all of that. I'm not the only one who has to keep a destroyed civilization alive anymore. We could do it together. So when I had to send him away, it felt like I was alone with that burden again. That there was no being on this earth who had experienced the warm feeling of Rao's grace. And I suddenly couldn't handle being Kara Danvers anymore. Or Supergirl. Because they are both part of me, but there is another part. A part of me I could only really be around him."  
  
Lena pulled Kara into a tight hug when it felt like the blonde was finished. She held onto her tightly for what felt like hours. None of them said anything, Lena busy processing what she had heard and Kara remembering a lost world.  
  
A loud grumbling noise interrupted their comfortable silence around half an hour later. Lena couldn't help but grin at the adorable blush that rose on Kara's cheeks.  
  
"I think someone is quite hungry." Lena said with sparkling eyes full of mirth as she pulled back a little to look at the blonde.  
  
Kara grinned. "Well, I haven't really been eating like I should these last three days. I'm sorry for interrupting." She lowered her head, not looking at Lena.  
  
The brunette caught Kara's chin lightly and lifted it until she could look into the blonde's eyes. "There is nothing you need to apologize for. Nothing. I'm glad you came to me today. I'm honored you chose me to confide in. And for the sake of honesty, I don't know how to help you. But I can promise you one thing. If you are around me, you can be yourself. You can be Kara Zor-El, you can be Kara Danvers or you can be Supergirl. Whoever you chose to be, whatever you want to share with me, if it's about work or if it's about some monument on Krypton, you can tell me. I love every version of you. Because you are Kara to me. And Kara has believed in me for as long as I've known her. For longer than I have even believed in myself. Now it's time for me to believe in you. I believe you will always do the right thing. I believe that you can find out who you are now and proudly present that person to the world. And I will be here to help you. If you want that. I'll be here as long as you'll have me."  
  
Kara had started crying a few minutes ago, not being able to comprehend how this person in front of her could ever be considered anything other than amazingly kindhearted. Lena Luthor had the kindest heart she had ever encountered on this planet. On any planet really.  
  
The blonde crashed into Lena once more, holding her tightly as she cried. She cried for her planet. She cried for Mon-El. But mostly she cried for herself. She cried in anguish and in relief. She cried because the heavy feelings weighing her down these last few days, or more accurately since she has landed on earth had been lifted the tiniest bit. She felt like she could breathe a little easier. It felt like the future looked a little brighter. She was far from fine. But being here, being embraced by Lena helped. Having finally talked about her feelings had helped. And she felt like she could face the world again. She felt like she could face Alex again. She felt like she could finally talk to her sister the way she had just talked to Lena. And she hoped Alex would react the same way Lena had. But she wasn't worried. If Lena had the kindest heart Kara had ever encountered, Alex was definitely up there with her, sharing it. Because her sister had always put her first. Her sister loved her unconditionally, that was one thing Kara knew would never change.  
  
"I love you Lena Luthor." Kara mumbled into the brunette's neck. And if she heard Lena's heart skip a beat and then beat a little faster as she said those words and if hers did the same, she ignored it for now. They had a lot to talk about. But right this moment, Kara only wanted to sleep in Lena's arms. And maybe eat a snack beforehand. She really was starving.  
  


 


End file.
